i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
