My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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