very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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