Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
