it wasn't lemon gatorade
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
