would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
birth control should be required to get into college
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
