Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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