Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Randomize
