He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
