im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
