is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
