whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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