it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
