were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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