JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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