ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize