whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
