Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
