Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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