Screwed.edu
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
porn star boner night. come get it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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