I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
