Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
