No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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