if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize