on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
