Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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