there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
