Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
