U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
