remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
