you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
