She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize