All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
