I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
