I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
