i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
