Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize