Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
