Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
