So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
