There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
