3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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