Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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