I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
