i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
