Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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