So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
