and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
