What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
