You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize