Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
