is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
