It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
