i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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