Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
