It's like God shit irony all over that family
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
