Are we in a gay sports bar?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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