Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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