We're like a lot better than the average bears
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
