the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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