that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize