hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
