he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
