yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
