We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
