If i come over, it means nothing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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