He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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