fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
